I’m writing this with a 71-pound pit bull pressed against my side on the sofa. Full velcro-dog mode. He’s dreaming, twitching, and making those adorable snorting sounds that pit bulls do. His name is Remy, and he is categorically the least threatening creature on the …

Because it’s been a minute (or two) since I’ve been regularly posting, y’all haven’t gotten to meet Remy. I was going to refer to him as the “newest member of the household” but honestly his gotcha-day was almost 2 years ago. It’ll be 2 years …